Things Learned as a SAHM

That's lingo for stay-at-home-mom...which I officially am today!! Daddy went back to work and I thought it would be brilliant to take Sweet Pea out and see some friends. Well, here's how well that went...

We went to see Uncle Deklynd and Uncle Michael first. I thought I timed it so that she wouldn't be hungry while we were out. Well, the best laid plans... As soon as we got there, she started fussing and wanted to eat. So I started feeding her. Uncle Michael decided to point out that when you feed babies, something must come out the other end. As SOON as I said, 'No, not really, she doesn't poo much', what happens?? Oh yeah, a massive blowout.

So I take her out to the car to change her and she just keeps on pooping. And then she projectile poops on me. And it just keeps on coming. At this point I have used a fistful of wipes. And it STILL keeps coming. There is poo on the changing mat, the car seat, me, my daughter and her clothes. The new mom in me starts to panic. I frantically looked around the car for something to catch all the poo. Wouldn't you know that the ONE time I don't have a ton of napkins laying around is the ONE time I absolutely need them!

So I did what any panicked mom would do...put her in a clean diaper and let the poo keep coming. Yep, I left my darling daughter in a dirty diaper. I then take her back inside where she proceeds to spit up all over her cute (and poopy) outfit because in all the ruckus I forgot to burp her. I then tell Uncle Michael that he is no longer allowed around my daughter because he brings out the worst in her...literally :)


So I decide to run by the Randall's to grab some wipes, get her all cleaned up and finish my errands. Simple, easy-peasy, right? This is what happens.

Take her smelly little self out of the car seat and put her in the sling.

Go into Randall's and grab wipes.

Baby starts crying.

Approach the checkout line, where about 10 people are waiting.

New mommy panic. Again.

Listen to announcer call for cashier backup.

Baby starts to wail.

Get the stink eye from the lady in front of me who is trying to have a convo on her cell.

Start to seriously panic.

Watch as NO ONE comes to open another check out lane.

Frantically drop the wipes and run out of the store.

So there are two things I have learned today. (1) Never leave the house without several bottles. (2) Never, ever leave the house without a motherload stock pile of wipes. And finally, (3) motherhood teaches humility. Stinky, spit-uppy humility.